I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We left the knife in your bed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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