I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
