He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
