I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
