I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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