I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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