...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The power of my boobs compel you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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