is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
