I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
