what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
