It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
40s are totally the cure
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
