i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
