When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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