ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
