hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think a kid would responsible me up
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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