Soap is not a condiment
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
