You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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