it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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