Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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