the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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