Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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