my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
