She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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