The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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