If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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