dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
