If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
