He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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