Sry I called you an 8
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
