after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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