Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
