The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i out mim tonsoeep
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
