I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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