omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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