We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
