apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
