Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
