just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
