He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how can u be prego again
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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