I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
