don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
