When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm at about main and main street
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
