He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
