Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
