Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
try to milk me bitch
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