my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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