I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
