ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
