So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
