Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
