Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
